THE POWER OF SILENCE & VULNERABILITY
Silence.
How does it make you feel?
What connotations do you immediately make with it?
Awkwardness? Fidgeting? Panic?
If so, you’re not alone. Whilst some people are more comfortable with silence and only contribute or share when they feel they have something specific to say, many feel a need to fill silence. It may be that you were raised to think silence in conversations meant you had done something wrong; that it meant you weren’t interesting enough and you needed to keep the back and forth going at all costs. It could be that silence makes you feel exposed, or that you don’t like the space it brings for your own thoughts to occupy your head.
Whatever the case, silence can feel uncomfortable, often because it makes us feel vulnerable. However, by embracing the power of silence and a willingness to be vulnerable, we can learn to use the space it offers to explore, uncover, and understand our true selves, and lean into our complexities rather than try to hide from them. With this, we can gain greater self-awareness and increased levels of self-confidence and belief in our own self-worth.
In her 2010 TED talk ‘The Power of Vulnerability’ and the Netflix talk that followed, Brené Brown spoke about how this belief in our own self-worth makes us more likely to take the ‘risks’ that make us feel vulnerable, facing the uncertainty or emotional exposure head on, and how this often ends up underpinning our strongest connections. We’re taught that courage is a positive value but vulnerability is a weakness, yet you can’t have one without the other. It takes courage to be vulnerable and it can be empowering to decide which people have earned the right to hear our story and who we will open our hearts and minds to. It often feels easier and less scary to keep ourselves closed, but we can only numb ourselves so far before our emotions and vulnerabilities come to the surface and make us more likely to lash out at others. We have to be prepared to manage our own vulnerability. Doing so knowingly means experiencing all that life has to offer, including joy, love, fear, courage, and pride.
So next time you try to fill a silence or repress an emotion, consider the alternative. What would it be like to experience these instead? Perhaps you can use the silence for a mini-check in with yourself, and embrace the thoughts and feelings that come with that emotion.
Many people get to the end of their life and wish they’d shown up more. Actively managing the power of silence and vulnerability will help ensure you’re not one of them.
To find out more about how coaching can help you better understand and embrace your vulnerability, get in touch.