LIMITING BELIEFS
Our beliefs are stories we hold to be true, yet these can work to either support or undermine our ability to achieve our goals. Whilst encouraging thoughts can help, limiting beliefs can hinder.
These often show up in generalisations such as “I must”, “I can’t”, or “I never will” and tend to impact our mood and feelings in a negative way. However, once we recognise our limiting beliefs we can start to embed positive empowering thoughts to reduce the negativity and focus on moving towards our goals.
My limiting belief was around competence at work. I travelled for a year in my mid-twenties after I finally left a highly toxic relationship, and when I got back to work I thought (unconsciously, at the time) that my year off employment meant I had to work doubly hard to prove I was good at my job. I also thought that the Oxbridge-educated leadership team of the company must be more intelligent than me, so I shouldn’t speak up on what I saw as key issues around the business. My inner voice told me that the business issues couldn’t be as big a deal as I thought, else the leadership team would have addressed them. They must be smarter than me, so if they didn’t see the need to prioritise the issues, they must have known something I didn’t.
It took me a year to realise this was false, and that whilst they were smart, they were human. People don’t know what they don’t know, so you have to be prepared to speak up.
The stories we tell ourselves can evolve and change throughout our life. Think back over yours; what narratives have you told yourself? Have these been empowering or limiting? Are you aware of when a belief developed and how it impacted you, or is it less obvious?
It is easy for us to be critical of ourselves, particularly in ways we wouldn’t dream of being to our friends or family. If we repeat these thoughts to ourselves enough times, they start to become our truth and impact us time and time again, whether that be in constructive or destructive ways.
It is therefore important that we become more conscious of our internal narratives and whether they are encouraging or limiting beliefs. If the latter, we can challenge and reframe these to think about them differently. Asking ourselves questions as our limiting beliefs pop up such as “What facts support this thought?”, “How are my thoughts helping me deal with this situation?”, and “What advice would I give a friend in this situation?” can help us to think in more positive and rational ways, and gradually replace the negativity with something more productive.
To find out more about how coaching can help you acknowledge and address your limiting beliefs and internal narratives, contact stevie@hatchpartnership.com.